Sparks of Truth: Men Help Other Men Grow Up

Men  have either lived with their mothers or their girlfriends — often serially too long. They have had no reason to marry, no reason to get a permanent job, no reason to “get ahead.”

While this was characteristic of the underclass it would be wrong to limit it to the underclass. Through easy no-fault divorce, cohabitation and the decline of marriage the new matriarchy also existed within the middle and upper classes.

There too, the men were kicked out through divorce.

The women claimed the wealth, controlled the family and the men were relegated to roaming about living alone or living with a series of girlfriends or new wives. Families with stepchildren and half children abounded — almost always with the women in charge.Women are sharing their stories ranging from assault to harassment. All of these women speaking up about the frustrations of sexism may make us men feel defensive.

But instead of shutting down when you see a woman post online that “men are trash” why not take a moment to reflect on what inspired her post? Why not try to read it with an open mind and see her perspective?

The “Peter Pan Syndrome”—the growing phenomenon of young men who don’t seem to want to grow up.  They drift from job to job, live with parents or with a crew of buddies, and focus much of their energy on drinking, carousing, watching sports, playing video games, and chasing women.  They have been so caught up in “getting the girl” and adjusting and crafting behavior from those toxic messages from our culture that they have lost their way. They put more emphasis on having a relationship than getting to know the  actual person.

These  men have developed a warped idea of manhood.

Yet there are a few people that truly need some guidance.

So, I will help.

Guys, going to spring break when you are 45-50 years old and buying drinks for and flirting with women at bars young enough to be your daughters and in some cases granddaughters is creepy! Dumping what few male friends you have in your age group and attempting to become buddies with guys in your son’s peer groups is troublesome. These are all indications of a deep, possibly disturbing level of immaturity. Sitting back and wishing you were younger so that you can be cool is futile and embarrassing.

Husbands and fathers need to step up and take responsibility for raising the next generation.

Boys growing up without fathers need men who will step into their lives and mentor them.

And young men who refuse to grow up need peers and mentors who will exhort them to act like men.

One of the saddest sights to witness is an immature man who is unaware of his  behavior.

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