Saying “no” can be really hard—I hate making people feel bad for even asking. It takes practice to say no in a way that doesn’t offend people, much less to say it in a way that makes folks feel happy they asked.

Giving a ‘no’ answer takes practice.  Here are some reasons to say no and maintain grace and kindness.

Let the person no it’s not personal: “Thank you for asking, but I’m not doing this while I am working on something.

Respect your personal time: “I can’t put anything else on my calendar this month, but I’d love to do that with you sometime. Will you call me right before you go again?”

Let your no be no:   Say it and drop the subject. Don’t wallow.

Think about the positives of saying no. You will be better rested because you didn’t go to a party. Maybe saying no to one thing frees up time for another (more joyful) activity.

Whatever the case may be, focus on the positive outcome of your effort to give good no.