3 Keys to Heal Relationships with Our Parents

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As grownups we often have a hard time letting go of painful emotions associated with our parents due to our vulnerability when we were kids, which can lead to estrangement with them. Dr. Nelson, author of the best-selling book “The Emotion Code,” has researching and lecturing for decades on healing “Trapped Emotions,” unresolved feelings from past difficulties that can damage our health and relationships.

“All of us experience negative emotional extremes at times. Sometimes, for reasons that we do not yet understand, emotions do not process completely.

In these cases, instead of us simply experiencing the emotion and then moving on, the energy of the emotion somehow becomes ‘trapped’ within the physical body,” he explains. “So instead of moving beyond your angry moment, or a temporary bout with grief or depression, this negative emotional energy can remain within your body, potentially causing significant physical and emotional stress.”

Dr. Nelson can expand on these tips for releasing emotional baggage:


Take into account your parents’ emotional baggage.

Heart-Walls™ are energetic barriers made of accumulated trapped negative emotions that can prevent people from freely giving and receiving love. When we understand that our parents’ hearts may be blocked by fear, anger, or other negative emotions, it can help us to have compassion, forgive, and let go of our own emotional baggage.


Speak your mind without creating drama.

Dr. Nelson shares how to cope with insensitive family members — and where to draw the line. The key: “Make it a non-emotional situation.”


Learn from your parents’ mistakes.

Look at mistakes in a positive light — they helped you learn what NOT to do.

Above all, we should seek to approach our relationships with our parents with humility rather than blame. “Your parents are just human; they’re not supposed to be more,” he advises.