Gray is the color of intellect, knowledge, and wisdom. It is perceived as long-lasting, classic, and often as sleek or refined. It is a color that is dignified, conservative, and carries authority. It is the color worn on the second day of mourning. Gray is controlled and inconspicuous and is considered a color of compromise, perhaps because it sits between the extremes of black and white. It is also the one color in the spectrum that has two spellings. In the United States they spell it GRAY and in Europe they spell it GREY. Both are right, but both give different connotations. Grey is usually the proper name most of the time.
The color gray is subdued, quiet and reserved. It does not stimulate, energize, rejuvenate or excite. In the bible the color is the compassion and care of God is demonstrated towards His people in His love and care for them right from birth through to old age.- Oretha
Teddy wanted answers. Everything he looked at, tasted and felt was gray. Gray was the way his entire life looked. He studied his wife being X-rayed. She didn’t appear to be in any pain. Nervously he reached up and began twirling her rings on the chain around his neck. He started to wonder. Was this it? Is this how it was going to be between them? No one had told him anything. The doctors insisted that her memory loss was temporary.He wondered how could they be so sure.
That’s what everything around him looked like. It was the absence of her energy and love. The nurses finished prepping her as the orderlies loaded her onto the gurney. He followed behind them as they wheeled her down the hall. Audrey looked tired to him. He stared at her as if he had never seen her before. Her skin looked flat, her hair limp and her eyes dull. Teddy decided that as soon as she got better they were booking a trip to somewhere with sun. Sunshine, warmth and surf would do them both some good. Upon arriving to her hospital room they placed Audrey on her bed and she winced. It wouldn’t be noticeable to them, but he could see it. The gurney rolled away.
Audrey looked over at Teddy tiredly, “Are you angry?”
It was the first time either one of them had addressed her illness since she questioned who he was.
“I’m not angry, I’m disappointed.”, Teddy answered. He studied Audrey’s face and reached for her hand. “I’m disappointed that someone like you has to go through something like this.”
Audrey sighed, ‘I’m disappointed too.’
At that moment the doctor entered the room.’Mr. and Mrs. Ainsley I think things are going to get better. Mrs Ainsley, can I call you Audrey?”
Audrey nodded her permission.
“Audrey your test came back and your memory loss is temporary. There isn’t any brain trauma. The memory loss is traumatic protection.”
Teddy was still concerned. “Why doesn’t she remember anything?” The doctor continued to explain the diagnosis. When the doctor finished Audrey sighed again. The doctor left her room.
A nurse entered.’Okay girlie it is bath time.’
At that moment Teddy reached into a duffle bag.
“I have this for her.”
Teddy handed a bag to the uniformed woman who helped Audrey into a wheel chair and placed the bag in her lap. They rolled down the hall to the shower. The nurse closed the bathroom door behind her and helped Audrey to undress. Audrey noticed the long scars and places where stitches had closed her up. The two women said nothing to each other. After she placed the bagged items on the shelf, the nurse readied a shower seat for her. Audrey slid into the seat and opened the bag. It was a shower gel set. She opened the gel and placed it on the cloth. It smelled great. The shower was a welcomed distraction from the stiffness, bruises and cuts.The warm water was soothing. She couldn’t remember this guy , but he sure seemed to know her likes and dislikes. After she put the lotion on and spritzed herself the nurse helped her into her lounge wear. The nurse wheeled her back to her bed which had been changed. She climbed into the seas of sheets exhausted.
Teddy was sitting in the lounge chair with head phones on and his eyes closed. Was he sleeping? She knew the notes pouring-out of the headphones. It was Adele’s ‘He Won’t Go.’ The silence in the room was only disturbed by the music floating around the room. Teddy opened his eyes and grabbed her hand.
‘I won’t let you go.’ he smiled. It was his first smile in weeks.
In that moment gray thoughts slipped away.