Mother’s Day can be painful for many. As we age death is a normal part of life. Yet, the important thing to do after someone dies, I have found is to cherish their memory. No matter the kind of relationship you had, losing your mother can feel overwhelming. Support is out there. There are many others just like you, who have stories of loss to share.
Here are a few things you can do.
Create A Memory notebook
- After someone dies it’s so easy to fall into a routine of not going out or not doing something, making your own memory board guarantees that you’ll have a creative afternoon. I give a notebook to a person who loses a loved one. I tell them to write down every memory thy can bring up. Remind them as those memories come that they should record them.
Celebrate Their Special Days With A Special Action
- When my a birthday or memorial day arrives, mark it with a special action. Do a kind act for someone in their name. That way their love never dies. Those things will make you feel better and you will be sharing their love with the world.
There may be times when you wonder how successfully you’re fulfilling your own role as a mother.
You may also find relationships within your family are now strained. Siblings and other parental figures might feel distant. They may need their own time to grieve, or may not be emotionally available in a way your mother once was.
The effects of grief after the loss of a mother are different for everyone. Grief that impairs your daily functioning, or persists for longer than a year, may require the support of a mental health professional.
It may help your grief to incorporate your favorite traditions from your mother. This could mean making recipes she used to cook, or using the same fragrances she used in her home.
Starting your own traditions may help you find comfort knowing your children will have both yours and your mother’s traditions to carry on with them.